The First Mistake And The First Lesson

I was in need of money. Didn’t have any cent in my pocket. So I was in a condition when I was ready to come to the client’s house even without the prior taking-coffee-together-in-some-bar ‘interview’ that I usually do. At that moment I was kind of…desperate and didn’t care who and where. The only thing I was thinking of was money. 

Finally I’ve got a call from some man. He had a very deep and low voice. And he was talking slowly. I asked him to meet for a coffee beforehand, but he had some not very clear to me reason not to leave his house. He was speaking Italian and I couldn’t understand everything that he told me. But still over the phone he seemed to be a pretty pleasant person. So I thought “Ok, I will do him.”

We arranged to meet in half an hour. Luckily he lived very close to my place, so I didn’t have to make a ‘trip around the Rome metro’. Fifteen minutes after talking to my client over the phone, I went out. 

So finally I enter the building where my client lives, go up on the second floor and…and I see a veeery-very big obese man who’s standing near the door of his apartment and smiling at me, showing all of his 32 teeth framed with a long shaggy, almost ‘Santa-Clous’ beard. 

The first thought that I had in that moment was “Run!” I was really appalled and wardless. Looking at this man and imagining me having sex with him, made me feel strong, unbearable disgust. I didn’t know what to do…”Ciao, piacere” I got out of myself, trying to smile. And unlike myself, my client was totally relaxed and cheery: “Ciao, X. Finalmeeente! Che piacere! Entra, prego, senti come a casa tua!” 

Well for some reason I let myself enter THAT flat. The first thing that I have seen on the table of te living-room was food. A looot of food. God, he will just explode one day if he goes on like this…The man offered me to sit, but honestly I was even afraid to sit down in this house. I still was thinking how to get out of here in a most tactful way. I couldn’t just say “I’m sorry, man, but you’re too disgusting for me, I can’t have sex with you.” That guy was like 5-6 times bigger than me. And to tell the truth I still wanted to be alive. So I   strenuously was trying to find the perfect excuse to escape. Meanwhile I was brainstorming, my generous customer offered me a piece of cake, that I politely refused. And suddenly here it is! The brilliant idea appeared to me…INSIGHT! 

“Scusami, per favore, appena sono ricordato che ho dimenticato il mio telefono in il bar vicinissimo a casa tua. Ho bisogno tornare e prenderlo. Tornero tra 5 minuti, va bene?” I babbled innocently, telling that I forgot my mobile at the bar nearby and need to go back and take it, but after 5 minutes I’m gonna come back here again.

As I said my client was in a good mood, he was cheery. So of course leerily he told me that there were no problems, that I could take all the time that I need and that he’s waiting for me. Honestly I don’t know if he understood that of course I will not be back. He still seemed full of joy and full of energy for everything. Or maybe he just was an actor better than me…Who knows. I will never know for sure. And actually I’m very happy about it.

As soon as I went out of his apartment I ran away. This man never called me back. And this is a one more thing that makes me happy. 

So having done this mistake, I’ve learnt the first lesson of my job – pleasureseller can’t make any blind deals. Never.


Number 1 Is Always The First And The Last

I found my first client through one of dating websites. We were chatting for some time and afterwards decided to meet for a coffee to know each other a little bit more.  He was not that good looking, but he was not that disgusting to me as well. This man seemed to me an adequate person, so I decided to make him my first shot. I arrived to our meeting point and…was waiting for him there for about 30 minutes, because according to his excuse he had some problems with the car. Honestly if he wasn’t my number 1, but number, let’s say…11 or 15 I woudn’t stand there waiting for him for 30 minutes. But as it was the first shot and I told myself ‘today or never’, I decided to go till the end.

So finally my first shot had arrived. It was a pretty pleasant man of 49 year old. Smiling, a little bit embarrased, a little bit…bold and just a little bit taller than me. Of course not a man of my sexual fantasies but he seemed nice. We went to the bar to have some coffee. To my surprise I was not nervous at all. And my companion whose name was B seemed like the one who already had such kind of experiences before. Better for me. For the first time better to be with somebody who’s more experienced. So at the beginning we talked about the things which usually two embarrassed people talk about. Like…’How are you? What do you do in your life? Bla-bla-bla-bla…’ And after about 15-20 minutes when we started feeling a little bit more comfortable with each other we switched to ‘business’ conversation. B told me that he would like to spend around 1-2 hours in my company. He told me the price he offered, it was fine for me. So we agreed about the day we were going to meet and after that our look-at-each-other meeting was over.

So after a couple of days B called me and told me where I had to arrive. It was my first time, so yes, I was stupid enough to go for a one-hour ‘trip’ from one part of Rome to another just to get f**ked and to get my money, taking bus, metro, switching metro lines and all that stuff. It’s only now that I understand: if a man really wants me he will pay for the taxi or he just will come, pick me up, take me to the place and after take me back…But as I told it was my first time, so at that moment the only thing I cared most of all was a start. I needed to start no matter what part of Rome it was and no matter how far from my house. I just needed my start. So we met near the metro station and B picked me up there with his car. After that we went to the hotel. And again…to my surprise I was not nervous at all. Totally calm. I think it’s something not normal. C’mon, everybody has to feel some kind of discomfort during the first…sex for money. But maybe in this case I was an exception, don’t know. So we came to the hotel, B switched on the radio on the TV,  went to shower, afterwards I went to shower and…when I came out and said my calm and confident “I’m ready”, we started the process for the sake of which we actually had met.

Strange thing happened. B didn’t attract me physically that much. Means that if he didn’t pay me, I would never sleep with him, but somehow I managed to have an orgasm with this man. I don’t know why. Still can’t find the answer for this question. In some way I just switched something in my mind and forgot that I was having sex with a man who was not attractive for me. I just let myself get the pleasure, without thinking…And suddenly I felt THAT. It was a surprise even for him. After we finished he told me that I’m a hurricane. Well…I think for the first time it’s a pretty not bad feedback.

And during our sex pause B stood up from the bed, smiling, and saying “And now the time of  roping has come.” To be honest for a moment I felt kind of fear…I didn’t know how to react on this phrase and couldn’t understand if he was serios or not. Well sex-fetishes can be different…you never know. But after a couple of seconds he took from his bag a package with italian sweets. Mmmm…interesting. Didn’t know that eating in a bed was actually possible with a client. And to be honest it was a good time. It was a time when this kind of…”business-ice” started melting and we started a friendly conversation. While talking to B, I realised that what he really needed was a woman who could give him her tenderness, who could listen to him and who could sympathize him. In that case it was me. He was not afraid to share the details of his private life. I felt that he was really thirsty to share it with somebody. And for me it was especially interesting to listen to him, because I really was wondering why the man who had a wife and a girlfriend, and also a sex-friend needed to use the service of a pleasure seller…and the answer was: “I just needed difference.” And that’s all??? Really?! Hmm…maybe men are really much easier than I thought. After our ‘deep’ conversation B looked at me and said “God, how did I find you?” And we got back to the first phase of our meeting.

When we finally finished our ‘deal’ and started dressing up B told me that on a table in the living-room there was a very interesting book which I HAD TO read…To my surprise it was a book with a title “Bridget Jones’s Diary”, but when I opened it I found there my first money for sex. And since that time till now it was the most considerate way to present me my…let’s say gift. I really appreciated that gesture.

After that we went out from the hotel and B gave me a lift to the metro station. Meanwhile we were talking about different things including my ‘job’. Our conversation was easy and unconstrained. We were laughing and we felt totally comfortable with each other. And suddenly among other things B asked me a simple question: “So how many clients have you already stayed with?” …Pause. “Well, actually you are the first one” I answered timidly fixing my eyes on the floor. My first client was so shocked that he even stopped the car because of his astonishment. He was totally numb for about 30 seconds. And believe me, I don’t exaggerate. I didn’t know if this news was good or bad for him. I just saw that he was shocked. But when he finally had got it over, he turned to me, held me and told me his real name, after what I told him mine. “Please, always be careful. Not all the men are like me…”

Since that moment our friendship had started. B became my very good friend who did many things for me, who really helped me a lot and who…used my service one more time. To tell the truth after that time I heard the same phrase pretty often from other clients. Maybe I really have good intuition, choosing my men. Maybe I’m just lucky. Maybe both…

So it was  my first and the last number 1 client. That experience was the one and only. Because in anything we do the feeling of the first time can never be repeated.


According to the opinion of the majority of people I’m the reflexion of immorality, I’m the one who chose the easiest way to survive in this world, I’m just a rubbish without personality…in other words whore, bitch, slut, prostitute etc.

As for me, I’m not gonna make any excuses. I had my own reasons to start doing what I do and I don’t consider myself neither a slut or a bitch, or whore, or whatever. I have too much brains and too much individuality to be called like that. I know how to please, how to listen and how to look without taking the eyes off. And also, the most important, I know how to feel – to give and to take. Somebody considers it as a biggest mistake in this kind of ‘job’, but for me it’s a life buoy that saves me from loosing myself while doing what I do. I don’t sell just sex and I don’t sell just a body. I don’t sell my heart and I don’t sell my soul. The only thing I sell is pleasure – exhaustless resource which is always in high demand.

Why did I decide to start writing this blog? Well…you know, the privacy of a pleasure seller is equal in some way to the privacy of a killer – those who know about what you do can’t understand what you feel, and those who can understand what you feel can’t know what you do…

So I’m in my early 2o’s. My name is X. I live in Rome. And I’m a pleasure seller. Nice to meet you, dear reader. Since now on I’m not alone…